You say potato, I say add butter

Me: Why do you always do that? 

Carl: Do what? 

Me: Wait for me to order something gluttonous like steak and mashed potatoes and a beer and then show me up by ordering a goddamn salad. With water.

Carl: But I like salad. 

Me: No one fucking likes salad. 

Carl: You mean, you don’t like salad. 

Me: That’s what I said. 

Carl: You really get angry about food, ya know. 

Me: Add that to my list of issues I need to address.

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