I woke up with a migraine which is a lot of fun, especially when the sun is practically slapping you upside the head and clawing your eyes out and you’ve got two kids, well, one kid who is ready to leave for school and another who is going super sloth speed and might be grumpier than me this morning.
Fact: the apple fell too close to the tree.
I’ve just finished telling the kids not to talk loudly, in fact, don’t talk at all because the slightest sound sounds like I’m at an early 1990’s Metaliica concert.
It’s 7am and I am in pajama bottoms and some shirt I have no right to be wearing because it’s something I used to wear when I was in college and I was twenty pounds lighter then.
I don’t need to paint a picture because I think you pretty much can see this nightmare.
Can someone just hand me a sfork so I can stab my brain right now?
As I’m driving, I wish that I can somehow make my sunglasses even bigger and even darker than they already are because I am going full asshole today and I don’t care what people think.
Okay – I kinda care what this woman in the convertible is thinking right now because she is staring at me like she just saw Beetlejuice for the first time.
I need to find some my migraine meds which is a carefully thought out and fine blend of Advil and prescription meds that make me drowsy and I am a zombie for the rest of the day.
Is this why Carl fell in love with me? Shit just got real here.